There was a race round Portmore Loch
so rumour goes (how runners talk)
where all the dogs ran two by two
and farmers seeing red spoke blue
and runners following their lead
all out of breath and most knock-kneed
were herded up like some lost flock
the night they raced round Portmore Loch
There was a race round Portmore Loch
where tempers flew while runners walked
and farmers scared that runners feet
would scare the sheep and make them bleat
drove among those self-same sheep
with flashing lights and horns which beeped
emitting threats and fearful squawks
the night they raced round Portmore Loch
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There was a race round Portmore Loch
where runners' times could not be clocked
as they fled down the banks and braes
from demon drivers (farmers crazed)
fierce screaming oaths within their cabs
and nearly made their flocks ke-babs
which scared the runners out of their socks
the night they raced round Portmore Loch
There was a race round Portmore Loch
where everything went all to cock
and runners trained and some less fit
moaned at the JBF of it
as runners, dogs and startled lambs
and farmers shattering the calm
were shaken as the Moorfoots rocked
the night they raced round Portmore Loch.
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