Saturday saw the third Carnethy running of the 7 Hills 7 Beers Challenge run. This event has been on the backburner for the past few years, having last been run in 2015, and we’ve not been the most productive in getting it back on. This is partly down to people being busy, but the main reason is that it’s a tough ol’ gig and I still have nightmares from the last time. What’s different about 2019? Well, an email from a keen runner from Holland, a guy called Pascal. For reasons I couldn’t quite fathom, he wanted to do the run. Worse, he’s got a load of mates that want to do it too. He messaged back in March looking at getting some help, perhaps support, and maybe even get some more folk to join them. I’ll be honest, I groaned when I read it, but being a good soul I tried to help with what I could.
Fast forward to Saturday at 11am: 31 runners huddled into the back room of the Kilderkin shortly after opening. Five flew-in from Holland for this run, four travelled from Glasgow, three from York, and nineteen from the greater Edinburgh area. The 31 were split into 13 teams of two or more, based on drinking pals, route knowledge and my guesswork about how fast they could run. A full roll call below, there’s too many this year to introduce properly. Luckily for us all, the weather was near perfect – dry, little wind, and cool enough for good running. Too cold to hang around at the official start, so we staggered that start line from inside the pub, with teams of two or more making their way to Calton Hill in dribs and drabs. Alan Lawson, the race supremo from the proper 7 Hills race was in attendance to send folk off. A few nervous faces, and mine was one of them. We staggered the runners on a loose “seeding” that I guessed and it seemed to work ok, the first to go were the expected slowest (wrong!) and fastest last (correct!). I was paired with Roly who is faster than me (correct!) but I was definitely a better drinker (wrong!).
Looking out from Calton hill, here was the challenge facing us all:
- Work in teams of at least two (you and a drinking buddy).
- Start at Calton Hill. Follow the standard 7 Hills of Edinburgh checkpoints, anticlockwise route (Calton-Esplanade-Corstorphine-Craiglockarts-Braids-Blackford-Arthurs-Calton).
- Between each summit, you must stop for a drink at a pub.
- It has to be between each summit, you’re not allowed to miss one and have two between the next summits.
- You cannot stop at the same pub twice (Ooooh…Craiglockart, Braids and Blackford suddenly become a problem!).
- To be considered for the record, you must follow “race” rules, i.e.:
- Must be a pint of beer.
- No spewing! It’s a race for civilised gentlefolks, after all.
- Deviation to other drinks, volumes and or barfing (deliberately or otherwise) means you’re doing the “challenge”.
Roly and I were the 2nd last to go, taking a terrible line off Calton Hill (doh!) and down through the crowds of the Royal Mile. Roly pulling away early, and pushing through the crowds like a snowplough, me struggling. We got to the first pub in good time, but took ages to get served, time ticking away. Behind us, the expected fastest team of Alex and Sasha were on the charge. All eyes were on them. Well, specifically, all eyes were on Sasha. Sure, he’s fast, he won the SHR under 23 championship, but can he drink? Alex is a strong runner, slower than Sasha, and so he would likely suffer all the way round the run. HOWEVER, if Sasha can’t handle the beer very well then Alex could be in for a reprieve. Alex’s day was going to hinge on the first pub.
So….?
Sasha skulled his pint before Alex raised his glass. Oh dear! He’s some kind of drink-running polymath. Ah well, sucks to be Alex!
I couldn’t gloat, I felt Alex’s pain. Roly is a faster runner and, as I quickly learned, definitely a better drinker too. Roly also downed his pint in a single throw, while I took three scoops to get it down. Broken hearted, I left the pub as a condemned man, holding onto Roly’s ankles for the remainder of the race. My last running-only race was in February 2018, so all this shouldn’t be a surprise. Sasha and Alex quickly passed, never to be seen (by me) again!
Ahead, we caught Mike and Calum. They’d gone into the castle to have a beer at the Officer’s Mess, and then down to a strip bar for their second pint. These lads were taking-on the event with a touch of class! With two pints down early, they said hello to my mum and pushed-on hard to Corstorphine Hill. Roly and I then caught Pascal and Leon, and then into a bar on Corstorphine Road. All was going fairly well until that second pint – Green King IPA. The beer had turned bad, and tasted of a horrible beer-vinegar hybrid. Keen to get going, we stupidly finished the pints, only to regret for much of the subsequent run. Corstorphine Hill tagged, and again met Mike, Calum, Pascal and Leon off the summit, and Jeff’s team going the wrong way! Next – The Pub! This section is a slog, and only notable for the car driver that took exception to Roly’s green cross code skills.
We caught Graham and the sailors just before The Pub. The sailors (Woody, Steeley and Paul) had been duped into running the Scottish Islands Peaks Race as an all-rounder team next year. Graham does this often, he’s very persuasive in a weirdly positive way. He then duped them into doing this run. Fools! However, they were having a blast! The three sailors were smiling all the way along, being shown around by Graham. Cheers and laughter as we passed. Great to see!
Pascal bought a round for everyone in The Pub, and we were off again. Craiglockart Hill next. We met Tjalling and Archie running the opposite way – they’d somehow missed Corstorphine Hill and were now heading back for it. Kudos to them for seeing it through. Ouch!
Over the summit, and on to the Braids Hotel, passing Mary, Matt and Sean. Inside we met Bob and Raoul, another Dutch pairing. They were grinning from ear to ear – was it just me that was having a torrid time? Mary, Matt and Sean arrived, grinning, taking selfies and having a laugh. Maybe it was just me? Feck. The beer was going down a bit better, and the Pentland IPA was the best of the day. Onwards!
Up to the Braids to meet the next hurdle – the Braids XC was being run at the same time as our race. As Roly and I ascended, the fast lads in the 10km race were barrelling downhill. Thankfully no clash, and I was happy to see that they looked just as miserable as I was feeling. Summited, then took a bad line down to the golf club. I’d called last week to ensure they were open, and ok with some people arriving. The club were great fun, and welcoming too, but there was no draft beer. Only cans. Fizzy, fizzy cans. Three cans across two glasses gave us our pints, and I tried my best to get it down but it was a struggle. Back onto the stairs and I threw-up in my mouth, nearly spewing on Bob who was climbing at the same time. I swallowed it down, and took a wee moment to compose myself. Thankfully, there were some distractions on the bridle path that took my mind away from hurling.
Down through the Hermitage and up Blackford Hill to see Andy Spenceley taking photos on the summit. Hello, Andy! Then down the steep bank, a quick pee, then past the pond and up Oswald Road. Ahead, we caught sight of Ivar dipping into John Leslies behind Mark and Tom. We shimmied through the houses and into The Salisbury Arms for the 6th swift beer. I can’t remember what it was, but I remember it being quite nice. Both pints down, and back on the run.
My memory gets a bit fuzzy on the ascent of Arthurs Seat. We both agreed that the “best” route was using the Gutted Haddie, which in hindsight may not be that all that wise. It was exciting though! Roly stopped for a pee and I made tracks over the top and let him chase me down to the pub. Final pint! Jarl, 3.8%, sunk swiftly. The end was in sight! Ahead, other teams were finishing, and a few teams were just behind. Roly took of up the hill while I gave chase as best I could, passing Alex, Sasha, Nick and Peter outside the pub and then Neil and Graeme near the summit.
Finally, the summit checked, and then the best part of the run: the walk back down to the pub, descending back down into the old town under the watch of Arthurs Seat. Everyone glowing. Runners and finishers mingling in the bar made for a great environment, and lots of fun to be had. Team by team, we all finished quickly, with the exception of Archie and Tjalling, who were finishing their 26mile marathon effort as they got lost a few times during the day. Soon enough though, we were all done, home and safe.
So. the scores on the doors!
Team | Time | Notes |
Sasha and Alex | 2:14:25 | WORLD RECORD! (previous 2:22:43) |
Peter and nick | 2:25:11 | 8 min PB on last time. |
Jim and Roly | 2:38:06 | |
Pascal and Leon | 2:54:44 | Dutch National Record! |
Mike and Calum | 2:56:25 | |
Bob and Raoul | 3:18:34 | |
Jeff and the York Beer Runners | 3:40:50 | Fastest ankle sprain post-race. |
Graham, Woody, Steeley, Paul | 3:42:29 | Sea Cadets Record. |
Mary, Matt and Sean | 3:57:55 | |
Archie and Tjalling | 5:54:47 | Fastest marathon |
Graeme and Neil | 2:48:23 | Fastest Challengers (half pinters) |
Mark, Tom and Ivar | 3:22:56 | (half pinters) |
Gio and Rich | 3:49:50 | (half pinters) |
As expected, the winners and new WORLD RECORD was Alex and Sasha. Great running! They both get an engraved tankard for their efforts. Everyone else gets a race coaster, in homage to the original 7 Hills Of Edinburgh Race. Massive thanks to Alan for coming along for the fun. I hope you enjoyed it, and remember more than I do! With everyone home, there was only one thing left to do, and that was toast our successes with even more beer…and then blackout. Not to worry, it seems I got an Uber to a Five Guys, and I definitely woke in my own bed. Whatever did people do before you could track card transactions, eh?
Special mention for Roly who would definitely have ran a quicker race with somebody better, definitely challenged second at least, and also for paying for all the rounds (I owe you some money! ).
Massive thanks to all that took part, especially Pascal who was the reason that all of this happened. Cheers!
Jim
Pascal’s photos here.
Andy’s photos and other tales, here.